And the Saga Continues

Well, I am nearing my check up with my neuro for a update on the switch to Stalevo from Sinemet.

The Stalevo has for the most part worked better than the Sinemet as far as my motor related symptoms go, with the exception of periods of fatigue ranging from mild to severe that does not seem related to my activity level but seems more closely related to my stress level. I have noticed "break through" as I get tired, particularly with the dystonia in my feet.

I experienced one fall episode but I, at this point, have written it off as getting out of bed too quickly.  Mornings are always worse.  A fact I think is due to it being the longest period of the day that I go without medication.  For now the most debilitating issue I have been dealing with is the constant fatigue. I say constant but it is better described as waves that come and go and linger for varying periods of time.  My memory seems to have worsened slightly or perhaps I am just becoming more aware of it.  Unfortunately that feeds my fear of dementia which has contributed to what I am beginning to feel is a depression that is settling over me.

Lately I am finding it more and more difficult to stay focused and motivated.  After discussing the issue with my older brother who has won his first battle with cancer I have decided to at least consider the possibility of an anti-depressant.  During his battle with cancer and the associated effects of chemo and radiation he accepted antidepressants as part of his treatment regime and has convinced me of its value.

I am slowly coming to terms with my PD.  A lengthy conversation with my brother and his wife was philosophically changing experience for me.  Sure, I accepted the initial diagnosis when I received it but quickly dismissed it as being in anyway relevant to my life.  PD has a way of reminding you that it is.  The realization of fighting a war that you know you will lose and being able to accept the small victories along the way is something I am still trying to wrap my mind around.  I was a bit envious of my brother and his dragon, cancer.  It was something that could be slayed, eradicated.  PD on the other hand is a vaporous amorphous apparition that does not lend itself to defeat, at least for now.  Having said that, I have now decided that I am unwilling to slowly succumb to the night.  I will fight this....

Let's get it on.....